Divorce Mediation: How it Works and How it Can Help You

The decision to terminate a marriage is one of the most difficult ones a person can make.

Therefore, most people going through a divorce want to do everything they can to make the process easier on themselves and their family members. Divorce Mediation is one of those things. Let’s look at this interesting option for couples seeking a divorce.

What Is Divorce Mediation? Divorce Mediation is a way to reach a divorce agreement without going to court. In a formal mediation, both parties sit down with an impartial, third-party mediator to try to negotiate a settlement. Mediations are conducted in-person or virtually. Both parties or representatives of both parties must be present at the same time in a mediation.

Typically, the mediator is found and agreed upon by both spouses’ attorneys, and the two parties split the cost of hiring them. Sometimes only a single meeting is required, but in other cases you may sit down with your mediator several times to discuss different issues.

There is no penalty for a failed mediation (other than the costs of hiring the mediator and having an attorney present); in fact, the courts may even look favorably on the attempt to exhaust all options before appearing before them.

Is Mediation Required in California?

No, mediation is not typically required in California, except in one situation. Family court judges can order mediations to settle issues related to child custody and visitation.

This is mostly because it is so beneficial to the child (and the parents) to have an arrangement with which everyone is happy. Otherwise, it can put the child in a terrible position of playing favorites or having to choose between parents, which can cause serious, long-term psychological damage. The courts will not rule on a custody battle until mediation has been attempted and the mediator agrees that it is not likely to work.

Though almost never mandated, there are still many reasons why a divorce mediation is a good idea.

Reasons to Try Mediation First

One of the biggest reasons to try mediation is if both parties want to reach an agreement quickly and are willing to negotiate. This is especially true if you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are close to an agreement with a few remaining sticking points.

Another tremendous benefit of mediation is saving time and money, both your own and the court’s. Appearing in court for divorce requires a great deal of preparation on the part of your attorneys, which means that the fees associated with it will be high. It also takes a long time to get a court date, and there is no guarantee that the divorce will be settled at that point. It’s much better to reach a settlement on your own time.

Many divorcing couples choose mediation for the sake of their children. For one thing, a long and drawn-out court battle is very bad for everyone, but for no one is that truer than children. For another, those children tie couples together forever. While you may no longer be the other parent’s spouse, you are the co-parent until the child is 18 and beyond.

For that reason, parents can practice negotiating, communication and working with one another through divorce mediation, something they will have to do for many years to come.

Divorce mediation also gives individuals more control. You might think you know how a judge will rule, but there really is no way of knowing. In addition, you can make personal appeals and arguments for the things that are most important to you, rather than relying on your attorney to speak for you.

Finally, while every case is important, you may free up the court’s time to attend to the urgent needs of a child or other family court issue sooner. Unclogging the courts is good for society as a whole.

Do I Need a Lawyer for Divorce Mediation?

Just as there is no law requiring you to hire an attorney for divorce proceedings in court, you do not need to have one for divorce mediation, either. You don’t technically even need a professional mediator (unless the court has ordered one). You just need to be able to reach an agreement you’re both comfortable with and be willing to swear to that.

That said, we highly recommend having an attorney before, during, and after mediation, as with all phases of a divorce. For one thing, attorneys make sure that everything that happens is legal and in accordance with regulations and statutes.

More importantly, though, it is your lawyer’s sole responsibility to protect your interests. Mediations can be mentally draining procedures in charged environments. Your lawyer is there to represent you in an objective and unemotional manner.

A lawyer can also help you decide if divorce mediation is right for your situation in the first place. The best thing you can do is call and talk to one of our experienced attorneys at WGS Law. We can schedule a virtual consultation via Zoom to assess your situation and walk you through your options.